Here's the deal...I only kiss my own ass and am working on the flexibility to do so, but until I can bend and smooch my porcelain rump like a chinese contortionist dancer I kiss no ones ass and Bill is my buddy first and foremost because he releases awesome stuff. I'm an audio junkie and he's my dealer for a good fix . So let the review and audio samples convince you of the aweosmeness contained here and not my glowing rants about how awesome the label is :)
Blessed Offal – promo (2011)
If you’re gonna get your mouth ripped open by massive force until your jaw turns to dust while a titanic dick shoved down your throat chokes you until your skin sags and falls off the dick like a worthless used condom and then your asshole is the last bit to be flicked off of the pole, Blessed Offal is truly the band that’ll do it. I’m an oldschool death metal and doom death metal fanatic, but even this SOB has me shitting myself, it’s blistering, pummeling, raping, mutilating, and as filthy and hideous as the original bands but somehow rips you a different way this time around. Some stuff never gets stale, and crushing, brutal and vulgar is the unholy trinity for me.
No time to bend over and grab your ankles here, the 12 minute brutal massacre of “Bottomless and Seasons” that serves as an appropriate opening for this album is a full blown “blitzkrieg” on all of your senses and will have you drawn and quartered, impaled, and decapitated before you realize your totally fucked. Brutal with classic control of rhythms, riffs, leads, solos, and an intense and brazenly evil atmosphere this thing reminds me of my first listening to Incantations “Onward to Golgotha”, it’s so evil and indescribably heavy, but the skill in song writing and the cohesion of the band makes this thing apocalyptically powerful!!!!! If that album still gives you the spins and the “Fight or Flight” mode kicks in, you HAVE to get this thing!!!!! Every death metal, warmonger metal head, and tyrannical lunatic must own this piece of audio violence, it’ll rape your ears and cum shit all over brain!!!! Everything here is classic, essential, and truly redefines brutal and slaughtering metal, you haven’t survived squat if you haven’t been mangled by Blessed Offal!!!!! I have a long list of amazing death metal right now in queue, including Dark Descent’s re-issue of the brutal Swedish band Uncanny and this one pulled me away from that one. It’s a cassette, but get it and look out for this bands upcoming release on Black Mass Records, some stuff just can’t be passed up.
Elders of the Apocalypse – The Law of Iron (2011)
This one’s been on play with me for a few weeks as it perfectly captures the chaos, frustration, nihilism, and full on need to release aggression. The sound is raw, filthy, and sends a call to us from back in the early brutal thrash scene, it fits in so nicely with my current obsession, Sodom’s classic “In the Sign of Evil”, old hate fueled Kreator, and maybe even a rawer,cruder early incarnation of warmongering violent metal acts like Black Witchery. Whatever the hell it is, it’s mean and sheds oceans of blood in its path. The cassette overall, as with the labels inspiration, reeks of oldschool demo and it’s damn near impossible not to tear the roof off listening to it. Lots of promise shown here, Elders of the Apocalypse is a force to reckon with, so approach with caution. Absolutely essential for those who still love their metal fast, furious, spiteful, violent, and perfectly lo-fi!!!!!
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